Unalaska Police Blotter and Noah

When I go home to California, there are 3 things I read in the local newspaper, The Village News: the obituaries, the change of names, and the police blotter.

The police blotter in The Village News has fun things like "Grand theft fruit/fowl/etc" and "Annoying phone call: obscene/threatening." (It's a small town...) but I didn't know fun police blotters until I started reading the Unalaska Police Blotter. (Which also appears in the Anchorage Daily News

Unalaska is most well know for being home to Dutch Harbor, the largest fisheries port in the United States and made famous by the Discovery Channel Show Deadliest Catch

RIP Capt. Phil

Unalaska is isolated. I mean seriously isolated. It's a quarter of the way down the Aleutian Chain, so it's practically in Russia

I'm not sure if people are already crazy when they get to Dutch Harbor or if the isolation turns them into crazy people, but either way it makes for great reading. You can find the most recent police blotter here, but here are some of my favorite entries:

Caller reported a group of 5 children playing atop an old residence. Officer contacted the group and advised them not to play on the roof of residences in general and not to play on the roof of residences not their own, ever.

Caller reported an intoxicated individual causing a ruckus in the common area of a bunkhouse. Officers confirmed the presence of said sot who agreed to scram.

Caller reported his credit card had been used fraudulently at a local business. Further investigation revealed the caller had used the card after all.

Owner of a local business reported that an individual had asked to see a $70 necklace from display case. The patron grabbed the necklace and attempted to flee the store. The Darwin Award nominee was unable to operate the front door which he pushed when it required that he pull. The clodpoll returned the necklace and apologized. The business owner declined to pursue charges.

Sister asked officers to tell her brother, on behalf of her father, that brother should not have any visitors, unsavory or otherwise, while father is out of town else father might kick brother out of the home when he returns. An officer passed along this message to brother.

Request for intervention between a homeowner tired of poo piles in her yard and a pet owner whose dog apparently seeks out the homeowner’s yard in the wee hours of the night.

Caller reported a beer-toting inebriated dropping the f-bomb all over the airport terminal. The inebriate told an officer he would start using his very best behavior since his attitude and intoxication had already caught the attention of those responsible for allowing departing passengers to board their flight, and he sincerely desired to be reunited with his family this night.

Officers responded to the Small Boat Harbor regarding a report that a large man was beating on a small lock, attempting to gain entry to a sailboat. The large man was gone by the time police arrived, but the drunken man who was inside the vessel making unpleasant remarks about the officers eventually came outside and was taken home by his mother.

Last week my friend Ashley (of Oh Wells Instead of What Ifs) posted a video of a kid named Noah singing a cover of LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It. And it was AMAZING. No seriously. So amazing he ended up on the Today Show. He has an album coming out soon and I will certainly be buying it. And listening to it on repeat. I can't even pick one hot jam, so here are few.

If you like Sexy and I know It, you can download Noah's version here! For free!