Travel and R.Kelly

I just got back from a work trip to Fairbanks and a vacation to Durham. I like going new places and getting my picture taken in front of new tourist attractions.

Like the Lucky Strike tower in Durham

 I'm not a huge fan of flying, but until I've developed teleportation powers, air travel will have to do.

Jumper, anyone?

If you are not aware, Anchorage is really far from most places, which means whenever I fly anywhere I'm probably going to have to make at least one, but probably two connections.

 As a result, I've been in a lot of airports and I've picked up some travel tips along the way.


Travel tips and ways not to annoy your fellow travelers:

1) Want to check a bag but don't want to pay for it? If you are on a full flight (as mine always seem to be), pack in the biggest carry-on you can. Chances are they will check your bag through to your final destination at the gate because everyone and their mom packs in a roller bag and they won't all fit in the overhead compartment. Bonus: you don't have to lift your giant bag over your head.

2) If your flight gets canceled go down to the ticketing counter and skip the desk at the gate. They'll be swamped. Also while you are walking/waiting in line, call the airline's help number. And be polite. Airline staff are not trying to keep you in the airport. You're way more likely to get put in first class seat you don't have to pay for if you say please and thank you.

3) If you are on a full flight, don't go up to the counter and ask to switch to a window/aisle seat. Everyone hates you and no one wants to trade. Check-in on time and you won't have to deal with it.

4) Practically every flight out of Anchorage is a red eye, so I'm well-versed in the finer points of airplane sleeping. I like the window because I can lean against it and won't get my elbows bashed by the drink cart or accidentally start snuggling up with my neighbor.

But sitting in the window means you are not getting up to go to the bathroom. Everyone in your row is going to be asleep. Just accept it and don't order 5 ginger ales.

5) NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT DASANI YOU JUST BOUGHT THROUGH SECURITY. It's been more than 10 years, folks. Learn the TSA rules. You are holding up the line. (Note: a jar of peanut butter is considered a liquid, so put it on a sandwich or put it in your checked bag) (Double note: they WILL let you take a quart sized bag of mini liquor bottles through. Just FYI)

This week's hot jam is Ignition (Remix) by R. Kelly. I love hip hop and as terrible as R. Kelly is at making life choices, he makes a good hip hop song. Try not to get it stuck in your head. Go ahead. You won't be able to. This came on when I was out for Halloween last weekend. It's been stuck in my head since. You're welcome.

Bonus points for spotting Nick Cannon

Oddities and Weezer

FYI I'm writing this from the very comfy king sized bed in my hotel room in Fairbanks. I'm on a work trip. For a conference. I'm like a real grown up.

I don't think it's a surprise that one of the top destinations on my bucket list is the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia and I have a not-so-secret dream to be in the circus and my Great Grandpa had a carnival ride - I like weird stuff.

Carny by blood.

Recently I started watching a show called Oddities on Netflix. It's a reality/documentary show about Obscura Antiques & Oddities in New York City. They buy and sell all kinds of weird stuff: taxidermy, shrunken heads, medical tools, carnival memorablia, etc. But watching the show has reminded me how much I like weird stuff like the things they sell.

When I was little my family took a trip to the Appalachian Mountains. It was a rainy afternoon and we were in Gatlinburg, TN. (One of the most touristy places I have ever been.) Thanks to a mutual family love of roadside attractions and a dislike for standing in the rain, we went to the Ripley's Believe It or Not museum. It's full of great stuff, like the world's longer gum wrapper chain, a wax model of the world's tallest man, cow hairballs, and Feejee [sic] mermaids.

Feejee mermaid - half monkey/half fish. All awesome.

Taxidermy, in general, gives me the creeps. But in Valdez, AK I found this mounted "furry salmon." It doesn't give me the creeps. I think it's the fur?

I like that a lot of oddities are a little bit spooky. Or at least unnerving. Double exposed photos, are just that, double exposed. It's nothing sinister, but that doesn't make the ghostly images any less creepy.

In contrast to last week, this week's hot jam is heartwarming rather than heartbreaking - it's (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To by Weezer. There are a ton of things I love about this song: the parenthetical title, the clapability,  and awesome lyrics like The rest of the summer was the best we ever had/We watched Titanic and it didn't make us sad and You told me stories about your chickadees/They didn't like BB guns or stupid archery. In the romantic comedy version of my life this would be playing in the "Will they/won't they" montage. 

(Unfortunately I don't live in a romantic comedy, so this is a more accurate depiction of my real life. *Womp Womp*)

Bonus! Duet with Sara Bareillis here.

80s Rock and Patsy Cline

Our new work shirts are almost exact replica of this (except ours have sleeves):

Love it. The shirts got me thinking about how great rock/hair/glam/metal bands of the 80s are.  These guys made it okay for men to wear spandex and make up for Pete’s sake.  Pretty impressive.

Top 3 reasons 80s rock was great:

1)      The hair. As a curlyhead, I understand the pain of frizzy hair. But many an 80s band member embraced his frizzy, wild, long hair. Kudos, gentleman, not everyone can pull that off.

2)      The clothes. What do a 5 year old Maggie and Motley Crue have in common? Spandex. Lightning bolts. Neon. Acid wash.

Fact: I too had leopard print leggings in the 80s. Except mine were blue. And for ice skating.

3)      Power ballads. Just because one is too fast for love doesn’t mean one doesn’t  want to know what love is, amirite?

In a (surprising?) turn of genres, this week's hot jam is She's Got You by Patsy Cline. It is straight up heartbreaking. And not even in a "oh woe is me" sort of way, it's more "I've accepted my fate, but I'm not happy about it." Somehow that makes it even more heartbreaking.

Yuck.

You know what's not my favorite thing? Throwing up. Back in action next week.

Sewing and Foreigner

It's almost that time of year again - Halloween.You can be whatever you want, in as much or as little clothing as you wish.

I always opt for more clothing because 1) It's cold. 2) I'm not a college freshman. So far the top choice for this year is a dinosaur. Second choice is a shark. Both require minor modifications to a hoodie. (I have no sympathy for you, Sexy Astronaut, you should have picked a warmer costume.)

But this week is not about making fun of cold girls in sexy-whatever costumes, it's about sewing. I consider myself a little bit of a Stepford Wife trapped in the wrong decade. I really enjoy baking and wearing aprons and pearls and occasionally walking around the house in high heels. And, yes, sewing.

Sewing is a puzzle. If you cut the pieces correctly, putting it together is the easy part. I think it's amazing you can start out with 6 yards of fabric and end up with something like this:

Fact: I want to dress like this everyday.

Granted all I'll be sewing for my Halloween costume is felt triangles onto a hoodie, but it's the thought that counts, right?


This week's hot jam is Hot Blooded by Foreigner. Pretty exclusively because of these lyrics:

Are you old enough? Will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? Did you save your love for me tonight?

And because Lou Gramm and I both have an affinity for t-shirts with the neck cut out.